Possession: I'll Take Your Breath Away
by Prettie Parker
Summary: AU world where Haley is Bobby's daughter and she grew up with the Winchester Brothers... What if while possessed  2.14  Sam goes after Haley instead of Jo, and does far more damage then anyone could have imagined. Dean/Haley/Sam But Not A Triangle
1. Chapter 1

_****Note:** **_No one is romantically involved in this story, but Dean and Haley have a past where they were more then just friends. A past that is referenced throughout the story.  
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_****Warning:** **_This story does deal with some very tough issues. Issues of abuse and if thats not your thing don't read this. This story will be very dark and angsty. It's possibly the darkest thing I've ever written, but I really tried to approach it with brutal hoensty.

_**Possession: I'll Take Your Breath Away**_

_Dreaming comes so easily Cause it's all that I've knownTrue love is a fairytale _

_I'm damaged, so how would I know?_

_I'm scared and I'm aloneI'm shamed and I need for you to know_

It was a tragedy simply put. A combination of random unforeseen events that shattered everything it took a lifetime to build. One night of terror wiped the slate clean. Wiped away everything they had ever known, known about each other, known about themselves. That's where the journey starts. The journey to discover the truth. A truth so ugly and devastating it threatened to destroy them all. This journey will tests the limits of loyalty and friendship. A journey that tests the very definition of what family means. That tests the limits of what a relationship can stand before crumbling. Tests the limits of what a person can stand before becoming totally redefined. One night destroyed it all, but it's the journey that determines if they can ever come back.

Five months of searching culminated in one pivotal stake out just outside a quiet little diner in no name middle America. The brother's sat inside the trusty Impala, eyes glued on the building in question. One person in mind, one person they were searching desperately to see. Haley had been missing for five months. She had vanished into thin air like a bluff of smoke after a demon riding Sam's body had taken her hostage in her own home. No one had thought the moment was as meaningful as it was, because Dean saved the day like he does so well.

Rescued her, and beyond getting knocked around a little which wasn't the first time for her, she was no worse for the wear, or so they thought. But their illusions had been proven startlingly wrong when her father Bobby had come home after a hunt, and found their house empty, desolate of any signs of Haley. He had instantly called the boys, her best friends since early childhood. So certain in his heart she must be with them like she had many times before. Hell, he and John had practically raised the kids together. It wasn't out of place for her to leave with them.

When Bobby received word Haley wasn't with the boys, that's when fear stopped his heart cold. That's when he knew something was wrong, terribly wrong. The search began immediately, the boys working alongside Bobby, lead for lead. All parties frantic with finding her. Everything stopped, suddenly Sam and Dean didn't care Sam was immune to an unknown demon virus, YED's plans for him and the children like him, their father's dying words of warning. Suddenly nothing mattered, but finding Haley and getting her back alive. She had never done anything like this before, and the fact that she did screamed louder then everything else ever could that something was unmistakably wrong. No one knew she had her reasons. No one knew it was her choice to run.

It was a warm spring morning when a solid lead surfaced. Haley made the mistake of using a name Dean remembered her making up a long time ago. The brothers didn't waste a second before hitting the road and chasing down the lead that felt so promising in their hearts.

That's how they found themselves here, when they could have been a million other places, when they could have been saving other lives.

It had been hours before a figure finally left out the back of the diner, long sweater wrapped loosely around her as the figure glanced around cautiously at her surroundings.

"That's her!" Sam hollered with the adrenaline of the moment as he sat up higher in his seat with her image in site. His hand reached out to smack Dean's arm and catch his attention as if his alarmed voice hadn't done the trick.

The brothers watched silently from inside the Impala as she quickly scurried up tall metal stairs lining the back of the diner before unlocking a door and disappearing inside. The shock of seeing her again was indescribable after looking for her for so long.

Like an orchestrated dance, Sam and Dean open their doors simultaneously, and climbed from the car in unison. Their legs moving in long strides, their steps quick as they march up the stairs until they find themselves right outside her door.

There's a moment they wait, a moment of preparation, a moment to compose, a moment before Dean raised his closed fist, and pounds hard on the door twice.

They stand there, the lowering sun on their backs as an anxiousness fills their hearts with the sound of her feet moving toward the door on the other side.

The door swings open as they come face to face with Haley, their life long friend, their family in every way that counts, seeing her for the first time in five months.

"Hey there, Sweetheart." Dean announces himself, his trademark sexy smirk lathered across his face aiming for her.

The brother's watch as her beautiful relaxed faced instantly contorts into surprised panic with the site of them. Easily revealing they were the last faces she thought she'd see. Her pupil dilating on contact. Then she does something neither of them ever expected, she slams the door shut in their faces.

Sam and Dean exchange a silent look before Dean's fist pounds loudly on the door once again. "Come on, Hales! You've already been found out! We're not leaving!" His deep gritty breath hollers, trying to reach her through the wooden door.

His words barely have time to finish before her response sounds loud and clear.

"Just go away!" Comes firmly through from the other side, her adamant voice easy to detect. Her stubborn streak in full force.

"Sorry, you know I can't do that." Dean called back his tone steadfast, with a quick shake to his head before he turns to Sam. He'd never admit it with words, but he's been a nervous wreck these last few months without her, and there wasn't a chance in hell he was walking away now.

"Bring the kit?" He questions low on his breath so Haley wont know of their next move.

Sam nods silently before handing over a small black, zip-up case to his big brother standing beside him. Normally Sam would be the voice of reason, advise on a gentler approach, but his heart is franticly beating in his chest over Haley. He's never gone this long without hearing word from his best friend and the sick feeling in his gut tells him something is terribly wrong.

Dean's quick with his tools in the lock, it comes from years of practice, and John's vigilant training. He picks her door in seconds flat.

Twisting the knob, he places a flat palm on the wooden slab, Dean slowly pushes open the front door. "Honey, I'm home." His sarcastic voice calls in warning.

The brothers barely make it two steps inside before they notice Haley standing across the room from them, shotgun pointing bulls eyes upon them.

"Get out." She's not screaming, in fact her breath is eerily calm, but the tone of her words, and the look in her eyes makes it abundantly clear she means every word. It takes every ounce of strength in that moment for Haley to summon the strong girl she use to be, the one she still wishes she was.

Dean fights to not reveal the surprise on his face that he's feeling inside with her order. She's never pulled a gun on them before, she's never completely shut them away, not ever. "Glad to see you haven't lost your edge." Dean mocks smoothly, same smirk upon his lips as he tries to calm her down. Bring Haley back down to earth. Bring back the girl he knows and loves.

"Hales, we just want to talk." Sam pleads with her. Pleads with the girl who's been his sidekick since he could remember. The girl he's shared his deepest secrets with, as she has too. The same girl his heart is aching now to comfort whatever is tormenting her.

Haley's eyes shoot to Sam as he speaks, the gun swinging his way. Something close to terror fills her honey eyes as they land on him.

"I said, get out!" Haley hollers frantically at him. Her eyes piercing into his own as her voice finally raises in a way she's never spoken to him before. She can feel her heart pounding so hard she wonders if it will just give up and stop at any moment. This is the first time she's seen him since it happened, laid her two eyes upon him. It's not what she expected it would be like, but somehow this felt worse. Felt worse to look into her best friend's eyes, know it's him, see it's really him, and still be so scared she can hardly breath.

Distracted by Sam, in a second Dean steps to her, and snatches the gun from her. Her eyes fly back upon the tall sandy blonde as she feels the gun rip from her hands.

"Never take your eyes off your target. That's training 101." Dean reminds her with a quick arch of his brow before he tosses the gun to the floor. Keeping his approach light until he can figure out what's going on, because as he sees the fear in her eyes a chill in his heart tells him something is unmistakably wrong.

Eyes locked with the panic in her own, Dean takes a step toward Haley. Trying to reach out to her, only to watch her move one step back. "Hales," His crisp breath softens as his hands slowly reach out for her.

Her breath grows heavy and rapid as he nears. Her head shaking from side to side in protest as her hands shoot away from his unwanted advance. There's safety in Dean's eyes, a safety she's spent her whole trusting, but Haley doesn't want this. She doesn't want him here. She doesn't want his help. She can't bear the thought of him discovering the truth. She can barely handle seeing them here without completely falling apart.

"Dean," Sam's voice speaks up, sounding with caution. Telling his brother to pull back, take it easy on her as his whiskey eyes stare upon her in stunned disbelief of what he's just discovered.

Dean's heated glare shoots his brother's way for explanation as Sam delivers the news Dean has yet to notice. "She's pregnant." Sam revealed quiet and heavy on his shocked breath. His sensitive whiskey eyes focused, and unwavering upon the swell of her belly poking out beneath her shirt, revealed past her open sweater meant to hide it.

Dean's emerald orbs turned back to her in a flash. His gaze instantly dropping to her belly that was so clear to see when he bothered to notice it, before his eyes rise back up to meet her orbs. Disbelief heavy in his gaze as a twinge jealousy stung his heart that she had been with someone.

"So that's why you ran? Got knocked up by some bar back after a one night stand and didn't think you could face your dad?" He's questioning her seriously, but his true feelings seep threw as a hint of sarcasm laces his words as if he's chastising her.

"For once in your life Dean just shut your mouth." Haley warned him with a heated venom on her breath, a fire burning in her eyes as they held his emerald pair. So strong and enraged it took Dean by surprise. It took every ounce of strength Haley had not to slap him across the face. His accusations beyond offensive after what she had been though, but Haley had to remind herself, he didn't know that. He had no idea what was going on, and even though he'd never admit it, there was moments she got the feeling he still had a thing for her.

"Hales, we're not here to judge. We just want to help." Sam's sensitive eyes reached out to her, his tone calming as he tried to reach his best friend behind the shield she had placed up in between them. A guard he had never seen her put in place before. A guard that told him she was in deeper trouble then she's ever been.

As her eyes shot to Sam a chill ran down his spine with the terrified panic that filled her orbs as she looked at him. It was a look Sam had never seen her give. They had been through a lot over the years together, but not once had she ever looked at him in such a way. It practically pierced him inside and broke his heart.

"I don't want your help. I want you both to leave, now!" Her voice rose with demand as her limbs began to tremble. Haley felt a panic attack beginning to summon in her body as her eyes held Sam's, as her secret came to light. It was pathetically tragic and she knew it. Here he was, her best friend since childhood. A guy she shared her first kiss with, her deepest secrets with, spent countless nights nestled beside him in her bed talking until they passed out, and now… Now she couldn't even look at him without feeling like she wanted vomit.

_Healing comes so painfully And it chills to the bone_

_Will anyone get close to me? I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know_

_I'm scared and I'm alone, I'm ashamed And I need for you to know_

Haley's breath grew involuntarily rapid as if she couldn't catch it. Anxious panic swept through her limbs like a wild fire as Haley felt light floating air rush to her head. Her stomach muscles began to spasm under her body's strain and revolt.

Reaching out for her desk, Haley closed her eyes as she leaned her weight against it trying to steady her breath, trying to calm down. Her other hand coming to rest on her belly as she fought to keep it together for the baby inside. To not put undo stress on it.

Watching her begin to falter from the stress both brothers raced for her aid, but Sam was the first to touch her. The biggest mistake he made all day. As soon as his hands landed on her, Haley instantly shot to life like a bat out of hell.

"Don't touch me! Get out! Just get out!" She snapped, screaming at him as she jumped away from his touch as if it burned. Her hands clutching her protruding belly as Haley fought to catch her heaving panicked breath. Her stumbling feet rapidly moved backwards until she hit a wall with a loud thud and was forced to stop in her retreat.

That look was back in her eyes, eyes that were now full of tears as they met his gaze, and Sam felt a sick feeling assault his gut. She looked like a wild animal under attack. Like she had just see hell itself breathing down upon her.

Sam's head cocked to the side in confusion, as his puppy dog eyes teared up. This was personal. He was certain of it now. Whatever was unveiling in her horrified eyes, in her trembling, fleeing body it was because of him. Sam stood there numb in shocked silence. "Did I do something? …What did I do?" Slipped heavy off tortured lips, vulnerability hung in his eyes as they gazed upon his broken best friend.

The look in Sammy's eyes was devastating. It sent shivers rippling all over her skin as her heart broke in her chest for a new reason. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't want to fear him, or blame him, and yet in that moment she felt helpless to stop either. Her best friend was now her greatest nightmare too.

Her lower lip began to tremble with the heavy weight on her heart. Her honey orbs fell closed, shutting him out as the first of her tears slipped free down her face.

"Please just go… Please." Her trembling broken voice begged him as her arms wrapped tightly around herself for a comfort she couldn't get from anyone else now, because touch still had a way of hurting instead of soothing.

Dean had seen enough at that point. He had no idea what was going on and by the hurt look etched on his brother's face he could tell Sammy didn't have a clue either, but he also couldn't help but be concerned for Haley. She was pregnant, and the very sight of Sam seemed to be making her come undone. "Sammy, go wait in car." Dean's breath was heavy with worry as he ordered Sam out, his piercing emerald eyes pinned his little brother.

"What?" Sam questioned in disbelief as if he was being punished for a crime he didn't commit.

Seeing that look in Sam's eyes, the one that pleaded he was innocent forced Dean to elaborate. "Just give us a minute." Dean pressed, his approach softening as he tried to make Sam see he wasn't blaming him, this was about finding out what was happening to her.

Sam stood there for a moment, his wounded puppy dog eyes glued to his big brother's as if pleading for him to believe his innocence's, before silently nodding with understanding and he sullenly turned to leave.

Taking slow cautious steps toward her, Dean made the first move. Stepping close to her, just steps away. Her eyes still tightly closed, as her arms clung around her, her breath shot out in rapid bursts as if it was taking everything she had just to hold it together. Dean's heart broke with the sight. They had seem some tragic things together over the years, beheadings, ghoulish creatures that would put fear in the strongest man's heart, butchered mutilated bodies. You see a lot growing up when you're raised by hunters, but not once in all that horror had he ever seen her respond this way.

Through all the battles and freak show sights, not once has he ever seen her look this way. Like a broken, wounded animal cowering for it's life. That wasn't who Haley was, she was strong, fearless, and feisty. Not once has Dean ever seen her look away from the carnage. One of the things he found sexiest about her. She could play with the big boys and beat them at her own game. To see her this way told Dean something bigger then even his mind could imagine had to have happened to wash away everything that made her, her.

Gently Dean's callused hand reaches out and finds her damp cheek. Haley flinches on contact, her eyes shooting open, hitting his with the nerves blinding in her pupil. Her hand reaches up, and grips onto his wrist, trying to tug him free from her, because even Dean's touch panics her at this moment.

"It's me, Hales. It's just us." His gritty thick breath whispers soothingly to her as his unrelenting eyes try to tell her he's here for her. That she can trust him like she always has, because he's never hurt her, and he's not going to let anything happen. In that moment as he sees the fear in her eyes, Dean's heart splitters further apart. Even after all this time he finds himself still crazy about this girl in so many different ways. She's the part of his life he can never live down, never move past, that one special girl that got away. She can make him weak like only Sammy can. To see her now, barely recognizable, it was devastating.

Her grip loosens on his hand as the look in her eyes tells Dean she's surrendering to him. To everything she holds in him, trusts in him. She's coming back from the edge of whatever she was dangling off of just moments ago. He's bringing her back.

A reassuring grin lifts the side of his mouth as his thumb softly strokes her cheek, wiping at the stains her tears left behind. That look in her eyes he saw just moments ago, it summons something inside Dean, he has to fix it, make it better. Their eyes locked for every movement. Slow in his approach as not to startle or rile her back up, Dean leans in, and places his full lips upon her forehead. Her body trembling with the comforting touch. Pulling back slowly Dean meets her eyes, eyes still on alert, but reaching out to trust a soul she knows is worthy of it.

"What happened? What's going on?" His husky breath whispers, his eyes locking with her own just inches away.

Dean was making her feel safe in a way he's always done so well. He was like a big brother when she was little, only to become her hero as she got older. There's safety in his eyes, security in the way they never looked away, even if his closeness is testing her strength. But his justifiable question is her ultimate undoing. Knowing the answer an onslaught of memories rush her mind like a tidal wave. Of her screaming cries, his hot musky breath, the weight of his body crushing upon her, the moment he took her soul.

Memories that strangle Haley's breath and flips her stomach. Memories not even Dean's love and safety can banish or subside. Even with Dean's comfort softly stroking her face, Haley found warm fresh tears slipping from her eyes at a rushing rate. Like a flood unleashed from her orbs sent on a race down her face.

The sight of her rapid tears caught Dean off guard and felt like a swift unforeseen sock to his gut.

"Hales?" His weary breath questioned her as it begins to crack. Showing the first honest signs of the fear building inside him. A fear her bursting tears only amplified. He was now more worried then ever over what had happened to her.

A gasping breath shuttered her chest as Haley broke down in his hands. Her eyes fell closed as she dove against his chest, the first real comforting embrace she's allowed herself to have with someone who matters since it all happened. Her hands clutched widely at Dean's solid shape as her face buried deep into his strong chest, needing him in that moment like she's never needed him before.

Dean's strong arms wrapped tightly around her, bracing them both. With his returned support he felt a sob choke out against his chest, followed by another as Haley fell to pieces in his strong arms. Fell to pieces in a way Dean's never seen her do before, not when she talked about her mom dying, not when Sam took off for college, not even when his dad died. He had never seen her like this before.

Fear burned wild in his heart in that moment. His level of alarm raising yet again today, topping off at it's peaks. This wasn't just anyone to him, and she was shattering like a piece of glass in his arms. That was something Dean would never forget. This moment, with the feel of sobs against his body, her dead weight in his hands as if she can't stand, the vibrating sound of her hysterical tears. He'd never forget any of it.

"It's ok… I got you… I'm here now." His husky breath soothed her as he held her with a loving embrace that promised to not let go until she was ready. That made a promise to fix this, fix her at any cost.

With his patience and consoling Dean eventually got Haley to calm down. The sight of her flowing tears, the sounds of her choked up sobs, none of it was lost on him though. Dean's heart demanded to know what was going on with her. What had happened, because something tragic had clearly happened, and the wondering was killing him.

His arm wrapped securely around her, Dean helped Haley over to the couch, even though she insisted she could do it herself. Taking a silent, but heavy seat beside her, his emerald orbs were hot upon her even before his butt hit the cushions.

"You gotta take it easy on yourself. Gotta think about the baby… or, something like that." Dean's words started out strong, but frizzled out as he realized he wasn't sure where he was going with this. The word baby in reference to Haley still found a way of sticking to his tongue, and leaving a heavy feeling in his heart. He knew he held no claim on her, but the realization she was involved with someone enough to be having a baby with them jabbed at him where it hurt.

Haley didn't look at him as her hands wrung with nerves in her lap. Only her voice picked up, filling the room with sound, acknowledging his advice. "I don't know if I'm keeping the baby… I'm thinking about giving it up." Her voice is quiet like a whisper. The uncertainty easy to detect, but there was something else on her breath too. Something heavy Dean couldn't quiet pinpoint or define.

Her words were unsettling to say the least. From the moment he realized she was pregnant Dean assumed that's why she ran. Too ashamed to face Bobby and them, she decided to raise it off on her own, but Dean could see now he really had no idea what was going on. Reaching his limit on the guessing game, reaching his limit on stunning blows, and everything feeling upside down, Dean cut to the chase.

"Haley what's going on, and no more run around." He pushed for the truth. His heart held sympathies for what she was going through, but that same heart needed to know what the hell was going on with her, enough was enough. She needed to throw him a bone here.

_There's mending for my soul, __An ending to this fear_

_Forgiveness for a man who was stronger_

_I was just a little girl, but I can't go back _

Haley's hands knotted tightly together as her breath picked up. She never wanted them to know. She never wanted anyone to know. Least of all Sam and Dean. That's why she ran. She couldn't face them knowing the truth. She could hardly face the truth herself. She and Dean had always been close friends, family in a lot of ways, and there was even a time they danced around the edge of the boundary of friendship and more. The thought alone killed her to have to tell him this. He mattered to her, in a way she still loved him, always would.

That's the biggest reason she ran, but they found her, he found her, and her life long friend was now asking her for the truth. She knew she couldn't keep it from him any longer. Her heart raced with the impending moment and possible reaction he'll have as she sucked in a deep rattled breath, and told the truth about what was going on for the first time.

"The baby is Sam's." Haley didn't look his way as the words slipped quietly off her breath. She couldn't, she didn't have the nerve to see the look on his face when he heard her. Knowing it would hurt him in more ways then one.

Dean heard Haley just fine and yet couldn't help but feel certain there was a loss in translation. His ears ringing with her sharp words. He could have sworn she just told him she was carrying his brother's baby, but that was impossible, Dean was certain of it. His eyes narrowed in on her as his head cocked to the side. "Come again?" His deep voice practically scoffed.

A heavy sigh left her breath, Haley knew he'd be this way. She was at least thankful he wasn't yelling or cursing, but that was still to soon to rule out considering he still hadn't let himself believe it.

"You heard me." Her voice grew stronger this time, bringing home her point, as her hands finally stopped fidgeting in her lap, but her eyes never found them his way. She didn't want to repeat it, because it wasn't as simple as she was making it out to be, but every story has to start somewhere.

There's a choking thump that forms in Dean's thought. Something close to jealousy and shock, though he'd never admit the first part. They were ancient history if you could even call it that, he had lost his chance for something more, but the thought never crossed his mind Sam would be the one to slip one past her goalie. Not on a cold day in hell did that thought ever seem possible. Dean coughs loudly trying to clear this throat before attempting to speak.

"When did you," He stumbles over his own words before attempting again to get it together.

"When did you and Sammy…" He can't even say it. It's not that he's tongue tied, never Dean Winchester, but his mouth does seem to be having a problem forming the words properly.

Dean has never been known for his tact. Sensitivity, that was Sammy's thing, and he was the crowned champion at it, something that came naturally to him, but today it was Dean sitting next to her on this old lumpy couch. Dean she was having to tell this to, and she knew this wasn't easy for him, but it wasn't easy for her either. Knowing what she'd have to tell him next, Haley wasn't sure she could do it. Her stomach was twisting in knots, growing more nauseated just thinking about it.

She'd never explained what happened out loud. It had always been a secret, something she ran from, but the moment had come to face the truth, and see that it was real in a way that her growing belly reminds her every day. Haley feels a panic begin to fill her heart as she fights to hold back the rush of memories waiting just off the bay.

"Think back five months ago… When Sam took me hostage… When he was possessed…" The words slip disjointed off her breath as she fights just to keep inhaling and exhaling steadily. Haley tries to be light on the details, because her memory is cruel and remembers every single one all too painfully intricate. He doesn't need the gore to know what she's saying.

Dean's shocked silent as he stares at her blankly for a moment. Emerald eyes blinking, but the rest of his face is stone. He knows exactly what night she's inferring. Sam had taken off from Texas for two weeks, a demon riding pilot. It all culminated when Sammy showed up at Bobby's and held Haley at knife point when he couldn't find her old man around, threatening to kill her if Dean didn't shoot him first.

It had all ended well Dean had thought at the time, well enough all things considered. They exorcised the demon from Sam, none of them had died, but looking at Haley now, for the first time ever, Dean began to realize they hadn't all come back the way he thought they did. His heart began to pound something fierce in his chest as the implication of her words began to take hold. The heavy, life altering implication.

"What are saying?" He asked her point blank, unable to even let his mind wander where it was so clear it needed to go.

She was holding it together by a thread, a thin unraveling thread. Tears were already burning with the urge to form, but Haley wouldn't cry, not now. She needed to get this off her chest in one piece. Now that she started she saw how badly she needed someone to know, know the truth, her truth. Even if that someone didn't like what he was hearing. Sucking in a sharp breath for strength, Haley forced herself to finally look at Dean. Knowing he'd see the truth in her eyes if he wanted to try and deny it on her breath.

"Don't make me spell it out… please." Glistening tears lined her wounded honey eyes as they held onto his emerald pair. Begging him to listen to her, believe her, even if the truth hurt. As she braced inside for him to look at differently. To see her differently because of this. A thought as torturous as her confession.

"No," slipped breathless off Dean's numb lips with the shock of the moment. A moment he didn't want to believe. Anyone else sure, he would take Haley's word in a heart beat, but Sammy. Believe that Sammy could forced himself on anyone, let alone Haley. Dean knew what Haley was to Sam. Sam knew what Haley was to him. Dean knew his little brother inside and out. It felt impossible in his heart. This couldn't be a reality.

Holding his eyes, Haley nods silently, because the look in his emerald orbs steals her breath. It breaks her heart and not even just for herself. To see the look in Dean's eyes as he faces the truth. An ugly, brutal truth she can hardly face every day. In her love for Dean it injured Haley knowing how badly this would hurt him. That she would have to inflict this pain upon him too. She knew that Sam meant everything to him.

His head shook lightly in protest. Not calling her a liar, but somehow certain the facts still had to be wrong. "He couldn't," Dean whispers strongly, because his gritty breath can't muster the strength to get louder. The look in her eyes, Haley's beautifully tragic eyes he loves so much tell him it was true. Something so horrific he wouldn't imagine it on his worst enemy. Let alone entertain the thought Sammy could be the perpetrator. He practically raised that kid. He knew he wasn't capable of it.

Haley nodded with confirmation, a sad grimace on her face, because it killed her to know it was Sam. That was the hardest part of trying to deal with what had happened. Knowing it was her best friend's body used against her, to violate her, that was the hardest part of it all. A single tear slide down her face as her tortured breath shot off her lips in heavy burst.

"You're right… He couldn't… but the thing inside him did." Her words were broken, final, and terrifyingly true. This was the part she couldn't seem to live with. This is why she had run. If it had been a stranger maybe her heart could cope a little easier. If it wasn't her best friend's baby growing inside her maybe the conflict over whether or not to keep it would have been easier. If it hadn't been a friendship she built her life around maybe it wouldn't be as devastating to know what she's lost. But it was all those things and more… It was undeniably Sam, even if it wasn't really Sam.

_I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say_

_And you can't take back what you've taken away_

_'Cause I feel you, _

_I feel you near me_

"_Damaged" Plumb_

_**Note:** So what do you think so far? Too much? Does is belong in the Non-Daley section? I'm dying for you thoughts. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: **This chapter contains a graphic sexual assault. Please be warned. This chapter is not intended for young viewers and should not be read by them! I must note that I wrote it that way, because I swore to myself I wouldn't write this chapter at all unless I was going to be as brutally honest as I could be. And that's what I've tried to do. You do not need to read this chapter to understand the story. So don't feel you have to read this chapter if this topic makes you uncomfortable. However as the writer I felt this story would be lacking in authenticity and truth if I did not write this part.

**Further:** I reccomend listening to this link on low while you read for the full effect. I feel it adds a certain something. http : / / you tu . be / v3Ym 3 Vu 8 T D Y Just remove the spaces as FF doesn't allow links ot be posted.

_**Don't Fret Precious, I'm Here**_

_Listen as the wind blows From across the great divide_

_Voices trapped in yearning, Memories trapped in time_

_The night is my companion And solitude my guide_

_Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied_

_Five Months Earlier…_

The darkness is a deceiver. It hides under the pitches of black. Clinging to the shadows, whispering in the dark. It can creep up on you and take siege before you ever see it coming. It can pretend to be something it's not with it's ever changing form. Darkness can be found anywhere, creeping in corners, filling in back rooms, hiding inside us all. It knows your fears and weaknesses. It knows just where to strike and make it hurt. The darkness if a dangerous deceiver, one capable of finding us all.

On one fateful night, Haley would meet darkness in it's purest, untainted form. One fateful night when she was marked as it's prey. It came lurking when she least expected it, in a shape she would never question.

It all starts with a simple knock at the front door, one that takes Haley by surprise. A solid thump, thump, thumping. It's well into the night, long after dusk, and Dad's out working a job a state over. She's not expecting anyone, but when Haley opens that old creaking front door, and see's Sam waiting on the other side a smile instantly brightens her face.

She welcomes him in without hesitation, without guard, this is practically his home away from home, and has been almost as far back as she can remember.

"What are you doing here?" She questions him with surprise thick on her breath. The smile on her face making it easy to see it's a good surprise, but a surprise just the same since he usually gives them a call before dropping in.

"Just working a job a few towns over. Thought I'd stop by." He answers casually with shrug of his broad shoulders, an inviting grin finding his face as he stares down upon her. Not his explosive Sammy grin that makes Haley's insides feel warm, but it stirs something just the same.

"Well, I'm glad you did… Where's Dean?" Haley questions, when he doesn't follow Sam through the door. The two like a set of match books, you rarely found one without the other. Her eyes scanning out the front window as she steps to it, looking threw the darkness to see if he's still in the car.

"Holed up at some cheap motel with a girl and a twelve pack. You ask me, he's in way over his head." His answer slips smoothly off his breath. Slickly smooth and if she had been paying attention she would have noticed something was off right then, but Haley had never had experience to second guess Sam, so her mind didn't start now. Not over the little things.

"Sounds about right." Haley let a quick laugh off her breath at Dean's expense. His antics amusingly predictable at this point. It was nice to see something's never changed.

Before she can spin around he's behind her. His towing figure so close his open shirt brushed at her back. His body heat emanating off onto her. He's so much taller he has to bend down just to reach her ear. "How about a beer." He requests, his breath hot and husky against her lobe.

The closeness doesn't alarm Haley. They've been closer on more then one occasion. While never intimate their bond was undeniably inseparable. Spinning around Haley came face to face with his poised face. So close they could have kissed if that was their thing, but it wasn't so she didn't blink an eye before answering. "Ok," Haley agreed simply, before her delicate hand lightly patted his chest, and moved away. Heading for the kitchen with Sam in toe.

When they reach the cluttered, worn down kitchen Bobby hasn't bothered to fix up in years, Sam instantly takes a seat in a stripped wooden chair beside the splinter riddle table the Singer's have had since before Haley was born. She returns promptly from the fridge with two chilled beers. Cheap, domestic, longnecks, one for herself, one for him.

Sam takes a quick swig of his beer before placing it back on the table. The glass making a clanking noise as it comes into contact with the wood. His whiskey eyes zeroing in on Haley almost instantly.

"So why'd you ask about Dean? Hoping it had been him instead of me so you two could have this big empty house to yourselves? Maybe see how many rooms you two could go through in one night? Bet your room is already marked off that list, huh? Noticed your Dad's Chevelle was gone, perfect timing." His question is fully loaded and yet he asks it with such detached ease that it should have seemed weird, but didn't quite pick up on her radar for what it was.

As Sam's insinuation filtered through her ears Haley practically spits out the beer still inside her mouth. Her hand coming up to her shapely lips to wipe the few droplets that slipped free as she swallows hard.

"Are you drunk? You're drunk, aren't you?" She laughs at him as her eyes light up all big and doe like with what she assumes must be drunken rambling.

He stares blankly at her confessing nothing before a sly smile fills his face, and Haley takes it as a sign Sam doesn't want to fess up. She lets him keep his dignity for now knowing the truth inside, that he must be hammered to say that.

"You must be joking. That was a life time ago. You know, there's nothing going on between me and Dean. We're just friends. Have been for a long time." Haley throws back at him, his eyes still heavy and unblinking upon her. Keeping her answer to the point in consideration of his altered state, but making reality clear.

Haley can hardly believe Sam would bring this up. She had been barely eighteen her first time with Dean, her first time ever. He was Sam's older brother, sexy, alluring, experienced, and she had had a thing for him for years, but their encounters didn't last long before Haley figured out it meant more to her then it did to him.

To this day she knows Dean wasn't using her. She knows she means too much to him to ever do that. He just couldn't give his heart to her the way she was giving hers to him. It was more of friends with benefits for Dean. So she ended it.

"Last week's a life time ago for you?" Sam challenges her with a wicked arch to his brow and a laugh like huff. His tone even and deep, but it's his words that are pushing the limits.

Haley stares blankly at Sam for a moment. Fighting the urge to not get frustrated with him, to not get offended. Reminding herself internally this must be the liquor talking, because her Sammy wasn't a jackass. In fact it wasn't like him to bring this up at all. Ever since he caught them in a compromising position once it had sort of become a taboo topic between them.

Taking a sip of her chilled beer, Haley's mind tried to figure out what he could possibly be baiting her with. The memory surfacing as a smile slipped back over her lips, finally seeing he must have been joking with her all along.

"You mean when Dean made a drunken pass at me? Who knows if he even knew it was me, and I seem to remember you goading him for it too… Where's this all coming from, Sam?" She made a jab back his way. Letting her guards surrender back down as she felt she understood his playful question better now, even if in his drunken state he delivered it poorly.

An arrogant smirk filled his lips with her ended question. Exactly what he wanted to hear. His whiskey eyes hot upon her as something inside him seemed to shift, and mark his prey. "Why is it never us? We could be so much more…" Sam licked his lips as if the very sight of her placed a hunger burning inside him. His giant hand reaching out to tangle with her own at her side, and pull her near him.

Something mischievous hung in Sammy's eyes. Making Haley believe this to be a game he was playing, a joke really, because what else could it be.

It wasn't the kind of thing that happened often, but on occasion Sam had pretended for a good laugh to come onto her after pounding a few too many. Especially since most people were surprised they hadn't already crossed that line. Trusting her best friend with her life, with her heart, with every piece of her, Haley didn't hesitate before playing along. Letting him pull her in close, her legs flush with the barrier of his knees, as a tempting playfully smile filled her beautiful lips.

"Well when you put it so sweetly like that, how could I resist." Her lips move sultry to play the part. Holding the act, playing the game a few moments longer before she broke down in laughter, assuming she'd find him doing the same like every time before.

_And I would be the one To hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away_

_And after I'd wipe away the tears_

_Just close your eyes dear_

Haley couldn't have been more wrong about what was going on. Instead of hearing the sound of Sam's hearty chuckle interweaving with the sound of her own laughter, he took her by surprise instead. In the blink of an eye, he had one hand hooked on her hip clutching her close to him, while his other grasped her soft supple cheek. His lips crashing against her own in a second.

Sam's mouth is hunger and seducing as it moves against her own. For a spit second Haley finds her mouth instinctively kissing him back. Unable to deny his attack feels good to the touch, and it's been a long time since a man has kissed her with such wanting desire. Getting caught up in the moment until his tongue brushes at her lips seeking entry past her barrier.

Instantly Haley shot back to reality like a bolt of lighting crashes to the earth, shooting from his arms. Taking several unsteady steps back, as her shocked, dilated eyes held wild upon him. "What are you doing?" Her fumbling lips demanded answers. He's never kissed her like that, not once. Her mind still reeling over the last few moments.

Slowly his towering form rises from the wooden chair he was seated in. A cocky, sexy grin filling his face, something so foreign to sweet Sammy. "You mean everything to me, Haley." Sam's confession slips out smooth and seducingly sure.

Haley stands frozen a few feet away as her heart begins to pound like a jackhammer inside her chest. Sam would never kiss her like that. They had experimented as kids with playful kisses, but that was just youthful curiosity. This, this was something else. It wasn't what he said that sealed the deal, but rather how he said it. Sam would never speak to her like that, Sam would never kiss her like that, and in that earth rocking moment Haley realized, that's because this isn't Sam.

She fights the fear rising inside her, she fights not to let it show. Not to give this thing the upper hand she already has by letting it into her home. Standing there, eyes locked with this unknown beast whose taken the form of her best friend, Haley could shoot herself for not noticing sooner. She had chalked his odd behavior up to too many drinks, but seeing now with clear eyes, alcohol had nothing to do with it. This was something else entirely.

Relying on her training, training she's had since her dad became a hunter when she was very young, Haley takes a deep breath to gain control. She can't let this thing know she's onto it. That would mean losing the last leverage she has. It takes every ounce of strength she has to hold in her terror as she forces herself to smile and speak. "Our first time deserves something better then beer, don't you think? Dad's got a bottle in the cabinet. Let me just grab it, you get the glasses." Haley's relieved when her breath comes out steady, believable she hopes.

Flashing this thing one more inviting smile she hopes will only further convince him of what her words may have been lacking, Haley turns on her heels, and moves for her dad's den. With every step Haley makes a mental note of everything she needs to grab from her dad's desk. Salt, holy water, shot gun, silver knife, the list rattling off internally. Until she can figure out what this thing is she's bringing everything. In that moment as fear finds a strong hold in her heart, Haley can't help but wish her Dad was here, and not out on a job.

She's faced monsters before, but never alone. She taking a deep breath, and reassures herself she can do this. She doesn't need her dad. She's a warrior all on her own. She can take care of this herself. Lost in her deep thoughts Haley didn't realize her mistake. Her fatal miscalculation. She should have never turned her back on that thing.

In a second the thing wearing Sam as a costume was hot on her, his strong arms wrapping suffocating tight around her. "You're good, but you're not that good." His husky breath taunts her. Letting her know the fight is on.

Haley instinctively goes into fight mode. "You picked the wrong girl! I'm gonna kill you like the maggot you are!" Her feisty fighting breath hollers. Throwing elbows, kicking her legs up and back on him. Making contact anywhere she can as she struggles to break free from his death grip. Her body panicking, but staying in control as it goes into survival mode.

He's strong, much stronger then her, but Haley fights like a pistol, a firecracker in your hands, and somehow she manages to hit him where it hurts, and he drops. Bringing them both to the hard wood floor with a crashing thud. In seconds she's scrambling on her hands and knees to reach her father's desk just a feet away, never giving up. Taking the upper hand, he tackles her body, gripping her long hair in his hand, instantly the battle is lost as he slams her head into the hardwood floor below. The speed and force are no match, and instantly Haley's knocked unconscious, and slums to floor below, lights out.

Haley came to slowly, her head pounding so hard she thought her brain might actually explode out of her skull. She could feel the cool wooden beams beneath her cheek. The smell of malt liquor and menthol cigarette's seems to surround her. It took every ounce of strength Haley had just to flutter her eyes open. That's when his voice hits her and it feels like a sock to the face it hurts so bad in her pounding head. His voice deep, seeming to echo from all around her weary mind.

"Oh good, you're just in time. Wouldn't want you to miss all the fun." Haley can make out the words clearly even as it all rolls off in the blink of an eye. Every syllable feels excruciating. Every word holds little meaning.

She feels something tug at her ankle, for a split second Haley thinks he might be tying her up, but then it's gone. His towering body takes the focus as he mounts her, seems to cover her from head to toe as his hovers over he body. He's so big she practically feels like she's suffocating, but then he shifts until his face is next to her own as if he's about to tell her a secret. His dry lips kiss her cheek quickly, something taunting in the touch.

Haley wants to move, wants to get away, but her senses still feel loose from her body, and every movement feels like a jackhammer in her head. His breath is hot and musky as her face turns reluctantly toward him, her heavy body tries to slug forward, tries to create distance. The sight of her best friend's face comes into clear view like a sick torturous joke meant to break her down, and it's working as strong, fearless Haley now knows fear in her heart.

"Who are you?" Haley's labored lips question, needing to know what she's up against. She stares into Sam's soft whiskey eyes just inches above her, like staring down the barrel of a gun, eyes that aren't soft anymore. Eyes that feel foreign for the first time in her life. Like a Halloween mask, his face is lying to her. Her chest filling with anticipation, her belly fluttering full with nerves, as her weakened body fights futilely against it self to scoot away.

"It's me… Your Sammy," He answers simply with a wicked smirk that sends a shiver down her spine, because it's a smirk Sam would never make, and she can feel the hidden threat laced behind it.

This thing wants to hurt her, and she's not sure what the stakes are yet, but she's pretty damn sure they're high, and at this point that thing has the upper hand.

Haley feels his nose brush her own from the closeness, before his face dips down, and she can feel him nuzzling her neck. Her heart starts to pounding in that moment. She knows it should have been racing long before, but with the damage from her blow to the head, it's taking her body a little longer to catch up to the moment at hand.

Haley squirms away from his touch, from the heat of his breath smothering her neck, the moist nipping of his mouth on her skin. The sensation makes her stomach begin to churn. It feels sickeningly nothing like Sam's kiss, but this isn't Sam, and that thought's almost more terrifying then anything else.

"No, your not!" She hollers, wanting to appear strong like a rock, when in truth she felt like a twig in the wind inside, Haley spits out her words firmly in protest as her arms snake up between their bodies. Her weakened body trying to muster what strength she can to push him away from her. To get him off her.

That's when she feels it. A sensation so horrifying it instantly paralyzes Haley. Her body goes completely still as every sense inside her focuses on this one crucial thing. Sam's large hand grips tight around the back of her thigh, lifting her leg up to tug it tight against his jean covered hip.

It's in that startling moment that Haley feels the chill of still air. It's in that startling moment Haley realizes her jean skirt is wrinkle up somewhere high on her hips. It's in that life altering moment Haley realizes it wasn't a rope she felt slipped around her ankle, it was this monster slipping her panties free.

Frozen, her breathe caught in her throat, her blood loudly pounding in her ears, Haley couldn't move she was so afraid. The vulnerability of the moment held the power to paralyze her with terror like nothing had ever before in her life, and that says a lot coming from a girl whose seen horrific things her whole life.

The realization alone sends her breath pumping rapid and shallow out her nose, as her stomach tightens, and flips inside. There's no mistaking what the stakes are now, there's no denying the intent, but as if she needed anymore proof it slammed her hard in the face as Sam pulled back from her body.

_Through this world I've stumbled So many times betrayed_

_Trying to find an honest word, To find the truth enslaved_

_Oh you speak to me in riddles and, You speak to me in rhymes_

_My body aches to breathe your breath, __You words keep me alive_

Hovering above her, stuck between the confines of her now trembling legs. Sam held one hand firmly against her collarbone holding her down to the wooden floor, while the other hand worked his jeans undone in no time flat. His cocky stare barreling down upon her for every moment as a smirk slowly lifted the side of her best friend's mouth, something close to the devil shining through in the gesture. As he ate up the horror building by the second her eyes.

Everything moved in slow motion in Haley's fragile crumbling mind. It was like staring off a cliff just as you take the first step over the edge. It was like watching a car coming plowing at you just before impact. Haley's heart raced with adrenaline as every fighting instinct inside her shot to life with the imminent threat.

Haley's heightened senses saw her opening, her one chance, her years of training had taught her to seek out. Her hands still up by her chest, balling up her fist she prepared to strike. Lashing out, Haley socked him in the groin with every ounce of adrenaline pumping inside her. With every ounce of will she had to live.

Instantly Sam's body curled inward with a loud groan, crumbling in on himself in pain. Haley didn't waste a moment of her chance for freedom. Her only chance of getting out of this without him eating her alive. In seconds she shot away, flipping over onto her belly, Haley scrambled for dear life on her hands and knees. Any part of her that could move, trying to get away. Her breath panting against her face and the wooden beams below as her heart pounds wildly within the cage of her chest.

"Your going to pay for that!" His roar echoes loud and punishing as if he's all around and right behind her.

Frantically scrambling against the hard wood floor, toward her father's desk where he keeps the holy water, silver knifes, anything she can get her hands on. Haley feels his death grip take hold of her calf when she's just inches away. Her hand desperately reaches out for the leg of the desk, her finger tips making contact with the striped wooden peg.

His hold feels crushing upon her limb as Haley feels him yank her back with such force she couldn't begin to resist as her body slides effortlessly back to him across the wooden floor, but even then her fighting spirit still tried.

Her free leg starts widely kicking as a frantic scream sounds off her breath from somewhere deep inside that knows she's in big trouble now. Sam's bigger and stronger then most, a trait that use to make Haley feel safe, but now only broke her down with terror. Pulsating, pumping, quaking terror as he became enemy number one. Somehow in the fight he conquers her, even as she feels her free leg and closed fists making repeated contact with his sturdy body. It's as if he's unfazed as he struggles to get back between her thighs.

Their eyes catch in that moment as he forces his way between her legs, back upon her, coming in for the kill. Sammy's once sweet soft puppy dog eyes that have comforted her on her saddest of days, that has been her greatest confidant in life, now stare down upon her cold and calculating, diabolical, and ready for the slaughter. Panic rises through Haley's heart with the look in his eyes.

A panic so strong is leaves her whole body shaking uncontrollably, it sends her scream piercing off more desperate then ever. Screaming for who, she wasn't sure. No one else was around, but maybe somewhere inside Sammy would heard her. Sammy would save her, because now she felt more certain then ever, this had to be a demon and he was still in there, somewhere.

In a second he silences the chaos with one swift blow she hardly saw coming, but felt mind numbingly strong against her jaw. Fireflies shoot across her vision, her face whips to the floor in a flash, as warm wet crimson floods her mouth. Haley's almost afraid to talk in case her throbbing jaw is broken.

She's just amazed she doesn't feel any teeth loose in her mouth. Sam's fist had caught her totally off guard and she cursed herself for not expecting it. For not expecting his revenge. Sam had gotten her good, her vision and mind still dazed, but still desperate for clarity.

That's when the second blow lands. Skull crushing into her cheekbone, shoving her face harder into the wooden floor below, and she knows internally he's trying to kill any fight left inside her. Having not expected she'd be so strong and willful. Haley felt her body instantly go limp in response to the second hit as the world grew thick and foggy in her wounded mind.

Haley's eyes fluttered open with disorientation, her vision spinning as her first thought was how warm her face felt. On fire almost. Reaching up she slowly dabbed at her mouth where it throbbed and pulsated with pain.

Pulling her fingers back slightly her eyes reveal blood. Her honey eyes stare numbly at the deep crimson still dizzy from getting up close and personal with his fists. Her vision blurred with scattered lights, her pulse erratic, and mind stunned.

In the haze of her mind Haley could feel Sam yanking at her legs, getting them just where he wants them, free for his taking. She could hear him tugging his jeans off his hips, the heat of his skin radiating off close to hers and yet it all feels miles away too. Her heart pounds with every excruciating touch, every deafening sound.

Her limbs feel heavy and uncoordinated as she brings them up to his tee-shirt covered chest and weakly attempts to push him away with what strength she can muster, her efforts null from her disjointed mind that can't seem to recover in time. Her cheek lay flush against the cool wooden beams as burning warm tears surge in her eyes, and begin to slip free with the reality of how dyer her situation is. What a disadvantage she's at.

For all her years of training, Sam's body is still much stronger then hers, and the injuries he blessed her with are leaving her body impaired to fight back the way she needs to.

"Don't let it do this to me, Sammy. Please Sammy, you have to hear me. You have to make it stop. Don't let it do this." Her emotion thick breath begs as more tears slip heavy from her eyes, and drop thick to the wooden floor below. Begging her best friend to save her. Begging somewhere inside he could hear her, even if she's never known of anyone being able to take back control before. In this desperate breaking moment, she needs him to break the rules, she needs him to defy the odds.

Sam's strong towering body came down upon her, his prickled cheek burning the flesh of her own. "Sammy's not in the cockpit right now." It's evil wicked breath taunts her with Sam's signature voice like the hell spawn it is. Before Sam's lips slip down to her neck, and began to pucker and nibble at her flesh.

"He's inside here you know, and he's been wanting this for a long time. Ever since he caught you in the backseat fucking Dean. He's been dying to sample those creamy thighs." There's an evil chuckle that slips heavy off his breath as the words choke free hot against her neck. Haley knows it's just to torture her more when she feels his tongue run long and wet along her neck, and the sad truth is, he's winning.

"It's not true… I don't believe you… Sammy help me, please." The words whimpered off her weak breath drowning with tears. Haley spoke uneasy while trying to sound as strong as she could even though her voice shook with the tremors that tore inside her. A terror so consuming she wished she could just die from it then have to face what's coming at her.

The implication of his words made her shutter with fear. Every cell in her body was panicking as desperate shallow breathes burst past her lips. Panicking with trembling fear so strong it felt untamable rushing through her veins. Her hands quivered as she struggles even now to try and push him away. Her belly tight with nausea as her heart began to cry.

He rises up from her and even in the haze of her assaulted pounding mind Haley takes the chance to try and fight him off, to try and gain some ground. Her hands raising against him, slamming against his solid body, but he's stronger then she'd ever known, and manages in the fight to get her wrists bound together in one of his giant hands. Pulling her hands down to the floor above her head, Haley can feel her skin bruising under his grip.

_Into this night I wander It's morning that I dread_

_Another day of knowing of The path I fear to tread_

_Oh into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride_

_Nothing stands between us here, __And I won't be denied_

Haley still fights against his hold upon her with every ounce of strength she can muster from her weakened, beaten body. Every screaming sense inside her says she's running out of time. The pounding of her heart feels like a jackhammer tied to a clock counting down her doom. Like grains of sand slipping through her hands by the second, Haley knows her chances of stopping this are rapidly disappearing.

Every muscle in her body grows frantically tense with a fate she knows is coming and can't face. She can feel the rising panic vibrating like a humming bird through her veins, screaming with the urgency of what's to come, but in a second it's too late. In a second Haley will never forget for the rest of her life. In a second that will haunt her every time she closes her eyes. In a second that made Haley stop being Haley for the rest of her days. In a moment where her best friend takes the life right out of her. She feels Sam's body slam hard and fast, invading her own.

A piercing scream rips from her lips in response as a sob chokes up her throat, her body forcibly jerked upward with the impact. She can barely get in another gasping breath before he slams back into her again, just as rough, just as brutal. Haley's not a virgin, hasn't been for awhile, but Sam makes her feel like one all over again as she's forced to learn the brutal truth it's not just the places she normally sees on him that are big, it's all of him. Unlike Dean who had the heart to warn her it might hurt, this monster is using Sam to make it as brutal as possible on her.

"Stop it! …Please! …Stop!" Haley hears herself frantically screaming at the top of her lungs. Begging, pleading with a dry desperate breath that makes her words barely audible against the pitch of her cry. Her body flails about in protest, squirming wildly under his own that now smothered her to the floor. Feeling in her shattered heart powerless against the tragic moment that's been forced upon her.

Tears slip from her eyes so fast she can't feel them anymore against her drenched face. In that moment Haley's heart feels so much bursting at it's seams, it stops feelings all together. As Sam picks up speed, thrusting mercilessly hard and fast inside her, Haley's mind goes blank in what she knows is her body's attempt to protect it self against something she can't stop, and should never feel.

His bruising death grip still bound around her wrist, his other strong hand lands heavy upon her forehead, his fingers tangling in the edges of her hair as he forces her head to tilt back. His face coming to rest against her cheek so she can feel his nauseating panting breath against her skin as he climbs closer to his point of ecstasy at the cost of her pain. So she can hear every grunt of pleasure as he slams bone crushingly inside her. Haley shuttered in revolt as his breath hit the side of her face.

"You feel so good." His mocking words shoot out uneven and out of breath against her face. As this thing tries to break her heart like it's breaking her body.

His taunting words, his every move it makes her skin crawl and bile rise in her throat. He's not slow or gentle, he's big and rough, twice her size in every way. Haley can hardly breath against the pain shooting though her whole body every time his hips collide into her. Almost as if he's going to split her in two any moment. Bile shoots up her throat with every thrust, but never quite makes it to her mouth to escape.

Her senses on high alert, she feels every devastating second of this, but her mind can't wrap it self around it. The moment to critical and redefining to be digested as it's forced upon her. Instead Haley's mind focuses in on the way she feels like she's choking on her own breath as it fights for room against the sobs ripping from her gut, and out her throat.

She can't look at his face, her eyes are closed so tightly the muscles in her eyes lids ache. She can't look at him, she can't bare the sight of seeing Sam do this to her, she knows it'll destroy her even more then she's already being broken. Inside Haley tries to convince herself it's not Sam, tries to convince herself this isn't happening even though that's futile at best, because this moment is more real then any before has ever been.

The familiar feel of his hands on her skin combined with the distinct way he breaths always sounds the little voice in the back of head that screams, I wont pretend. The small voice that knows whose doing this to her. It's that truth that makes her tremble inside, makes her heart thump harder in her chest, makes her feel dirty in a way that can never be cleaned. And single handily tears down everything she and Sammy have built through their lifetime together.

His breath is smothering and hot as Haley feels him move from her face down to her neck. "I'm going to destroy all of your little hunter friends, but you first." His disgusting husky whisper taunts her with his plans, before he slams his body back crushing inside her, but when she doesn't respond the way he wants he digs deep under her skin.

"Where's all your fight? You're not going to give up now, are you? I was really starting to enjoy all that spunk." His panting breath thickly whispers against the curve of her neck just before he bites down on her. Breaking her skin beneath Sam's teeth as if it needs her kicking and screaming to get off. Haley hears her breath screaming out again in response to the shooting pain on neck. Loud and echoing through the hollows of a house she once felt safe in.

Her body shooting back to life with his latest brutal attack, as she fights against the torture, the invasion. Her body struggling wildly against his grip, her hips bucking, as her body fights his hold upon her, but she can't get away. He has her in Sam's hands, he's trapped between her thighs, he's somewhere deep inside her, destroying her from the inside out.

It feels like forever before he's done, but even then his touch and breath still lingered on her skin like filth. It feels like she's cried so many tears if she never cried again the well should still be dry, even though she knows she'll summon more at any moment.

Haley feels so broken inside and out by the time he spasms and momentarily collapses on her with the release. Only then does she stop fighting. Only then does she resigned herself she's lost. Lost a battle so great Haley's not sure she can come back from it. She's not even sure how she's going to get off the floor her body hurts so badly.

A whimpered cry slips involuntarily from her lips once he pulls free from her. She tries to curl in toward herself, her body aching all over. Her heart shattered in pieces all over the floor, so many pieces she'll never be able to find them all.

Haley can hear him shuffling about, the sound of his zipper as he puts himself back together. That's when he grabs her, his grip tight around her throbbing jaw, yanking her face toward him. "Look at me." His deep seething breath demands.

He's so close Haley can feel his hot breath upon her face, but she ignores him. Holding her eyes closed as tight as she can. His demand rings in her ears, but her body is incapable of responding, shutting down had been the only way to escape. Her broken body trembling against a fear that still hasn't passed.

His grip tightens on her pulsating jaw as his breath grows more threatening. "Look at me."

Terrified of what he'll do if she doesn't, as if there was anything else he could do to her that would be worse then what he's done. Sucking in a deep shuttered breath, Haley flutters open her eyes.

The sight of Sam's face looming before her instantly sends Haley choking on her breath as tears start to fall from her broken eyes all over again. His once beautifully gentle face that could bring her the strongest sense of comfort felt like a nightmare to look at now.

The evil in control inside Sam grins at her in mockery of her pain and suffering, before his eyes flash pitch black like the darkest of night just so she knows for certain what has happened here. Inches away, his hot breath smothering her, the blackness of his eyes blinding, as his grip tightens once again on her bruising jaw.

"You liked it." He tells her with such cocky confidence Haley can't breathe. The air literally strips from her lungs as her mind forgets how to take a breath. Choking on air that escapes her, with his paralyzing words still echoing in her head. He moves quick, and in seconds he has a strong hold on her arm, yanking her to her feet.

Pain shoots threw Haley's entire body as she tries to stand on her own two feet. She can't move as he yanks her jean skirt back into place. She doesn't even fight as he drags her to a chair and ties her up, all strength inside her lost somewhere on that wooden floor with the rest of her. Haley can feel it, a big gapping hole somewhere inside her. Where a big piece of her has died. Disappeared like ashes in the wind.

Having slipped away to that far off place where things go that can never be found again. Maybe someday she'll learn to live with this hole, how to go on without that missing vital piece, but it will never be filled again. It'll always be empty and hollow.

Tied numbly to her father's desk chair Haley begins to slip away from reality, to a place where not even this demon can reach. To a place she didn't even know exists until today, away from here. Her cheekbone's blackening, her mouth bloody, her greatest wounds hidden under her skirt, hidden inside her as hostage and captor wait for Dean to arrive.

_Don't fret precious I'm here, _

_Step away from the window And go back to sleep_

_Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils, _

_See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. _

_Possession by Sarah McLachlan_

"_Counting bodies like sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums" A Perfect Circle_

**_Note: _**_For those that dare to read it to the bottom, what do you think?_


	3. Chapter 3

_**It Makes You A Weapon**_

_Here by my side, an angel, Here by my side, the devil_

_Never turn your back on me, Never turn your back on me, again_

_Here by my side, it's Heaven_

"Sammy, we gotta talk." Dean had said firmly, something indefinable, but powerful in his gaze as he found Sam standing outside, his weight leaning against the car. It was a simple sentence that instantly left apprehension building in Sam's heart. No one says those words and then gives you good news, Sam knows that.

His heart is heavy when he returns to the apartment unsure of what to expect, his eyes scanning for Haley right away. A need so raw and honest to fix thing between them. Little did he know it wasn't that simple and this was bigger then he ever could have imagined. He doesn't resist when Dean suggests he take a seat in the chair across from Haley instead of beside her, but sensitive whiskey orbs never leave her imagine. Silently begging her to look his way, to tell him what was wrong.

Dean had been the first to bring up telling Sam, and while there was still a part of Haley that never wanted him to know the truth, the rational part of her knew he had to find out. He deserved to know. That's how they found themselves all seated together in that small muggy aired, old smelling living room.

The awkward tension was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. It was Dean who sat beside Haley, not Sam. Wrapping a brief hand over her clasped pair in a show of support. Haley's head hung low, unwilling to meet either of their eyes. A gesture that only radiated what Sam already feared, this was bad news.

"Somebody say something, because you're both really starting to freak me out." Sam was the first to speak up. His foot tapping nervously on the soiled, loose thread carpet. Fear building in his heart by the second. If Haley's inability to even look at him wasn't scary enough the look in his big brother's eyes as his gaze fell upon him was enough to make Sam's blood run cold. "What? Just tell me." He blurted out, his breath uneven with anxiousness he could no longer mask. With a feeling building tighter and tighter inside his gut.

"Sammy…" Dean started strong, trying to find the strength to deliver news that could quite possibly destroy his little brother forever. That would alter him forever. How do you tell someone they're a rapist and didn't know it? How do you tell someone you love something that is going to redefine who they are for the rest of their life?

Hearing Dean's faltering breath Haley knew she needed to do this. The old her wouldn't have hesitated. The pleading in Sammy's voice got to her in a way it always did before a canyon opened up between them. Got to her in a place deep inside her that still remembered everything beautiful about their friendship.

Everything that she needed to hold onto if she was ever going to make it through this. Taking a deep breath to summon strength she would need, probably the most strength she's ever needed since the attack, Haley's face rose to meet his gaze. Sammy's puppy dog eyes locked with hers instantly, the fear looming in his orbs matched her own.

Taking one more steady breath for courage, Haley took a leap of faith, and spoke before she lost her nerve. "The baby is yours, Sammy… _The baby is yours_." She whispered out, her breath unable to grow louder against the power of the words she was saying. Words she had never wanted to speak aloud, least of all to him.

Sam stared blankly into her eyes for several moments before a goofy grin slipped over his face, followed by a deep hearty chuckle. "That's cute, and I'm sure pigs fly too… Come on guys what's really going on?" Sam didn't buy it for a moment. So sure they were trying to lighten the blow, or pull one over on him, because Sam knows he's never slept with Haley, never. It's not possible he could be the father of her baby.

That's not how they were with each other. Even though truth be told, he had thought about it before, and if she ever wanted him, she could have him in a second. She was the stitches that held him together even if he always kept the wondering questions to himself, knowing she didn't want more. Sam watched as Haley's face showed no sign of humor, Dean's features more stoic then ever.

"Hales, we've had some nights I don't remember so well in the morning, but I think I would remember if we ever…" Sam explained a logic that should have been a given. That under normal circumstances one would remember sleeping with someone else, but he only saw tears form in her eyes in response to his words, before Dean swiftly cut him off.

"You were possessed, Sam." Dean blurted out, squashing any lingering doubt caused from a lack of recognition. He was blunt to say the least, but Dean wasn't sure he'd be able to spit it out any other way without choking.

Sam shut up instantly, his lips falling numb with the weight of Dean's words. An intense thumping picked up in his chest, pounding loudly in his ears. "You don't mean…" His words died mid-sentence as Sam's piercing gaze shot to his big brother. Something in the pain in his whiskey eyes begged his brother to take his words back.

Dean's heart broke in his chest with the look in Sam's puppy dog eyes. Almost as if he had just single-handly shattered his self image, only worse. No man should ever have to find the realization Sam is having to face. "You didn't know. You weren't in control." Dean tried to rationalize the situation for his brother. Tried to make him see he wasn't a monster, he had just had one in him.

Sam's head shook profusely from side to side in protest, trying to hold onto the last shred of doubt. "No… No…" His lips mumbled out heavy on his breath, as a dazed look filled his eyes. Desperate whiskey orbs shot over to Haley's devastated pair.

"Hales?" Sam's voice broke as he prayed this was a mistake. His lower lip quivered, his words heavy and pleading like a small child as he begged her to tell him it wasn't so. To tell him he hadn't done that to her.

Haley held Sam's eyes in the moment, the tears lining her orbs suddenly too heavy to contain any longer as the pain in his gaze only summoned more. Her voice wouldn't work as tears slipped from her eyes and drizzled down her cheeks. She couldn't make this anymore real for him then it already was. She couldn't do that to him, hurt him in that way.

Her tears were the finally word, the last nail in his coffin. Sitting there in that stiff chair, Haley's tears echoed in Sam's mind as he felt the bottom fall out, the ground beneath him crumble with a realization so horrific it changed the very meaning of who he is and what he is capable of. Everything good he ever thought about himself instantly blew out like a candle in the wind.

"No, no, no." Sam ran his hands roughly over his face and through his loose shaggy hair as his voice began to break from pain and disbelief. He could hardly catch his breath, he felt so much. A betrayal this shocking he could hardly comprehend it. Sam mumbled to himself as his face fell into his hands. His breath picking up as he fought to catch it, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest.

_Here by my side, you are destruction_

_Here by my side, a new color to paint the world_

_Never turn your back on it, Never turn your back on it, again_

_Here by my side, it's Heaven_

Finally opening himself up to the truth. To a truth so terrible he had blocked it out until this moment. Reality hit Sam like a ton of bricks, stoning him to the ground. Sam knew it was all true, undeniably true. The morning after his exorcism, Sam had a few fleeting memories, but he had dismissed them all as mind tricks too gruesome to be real. Sam's heart felt like it was going to stop beating it pounded so hard. The painful truth was staring him in the face, forcing him to look at it. He now knew his flash memories were real, and not just a game.

Sitting across from his best friend, a girl he cares deeply for, and now is also his victim too, Sam found a flood of memories he had pushed away rushing in his mind. Of her endless tears, her echoing desperate cries, the feel of his body crushing her to the floor, the feel of her fighting so hard against him, the warmth between her thighs from the friction of their skin. Digging his fingers deep into his hair and scalp for punishment, Sam felt his world flip off its axis, a hole rip open in the earth as the chair he was seated upon seemed to fall miles into the earth as the flash memories ripped him to pieces. His stomach involuntarily twisted into tight knots before making a giant leap as he felt his world hit rock bottom hell, and hard with the unspeakable truth… He had raped his best friend.

"I'm going to be sick." Sam managed to blurt out as he shot to his unsteady feet. Covering his mouth as he staggered for the bathroom hoping to make it in time before it all came up in his hand.

His heavy feet stomped across the carpet as he charged for the bathroom. Racing against time to reach the toilet before his disgusted revolt came spewing out in his palm.

Dean was jumping to his feet almost as quickly, racing after his younger brother to accesses the damage. He's was hot on his heels until he reached an abrupt end as Sam slams the bathroom door in his face. The echoing sound of deep guttural wrenching coming through the door as his only explanation, but further reasoning didn't need to be given. Sam needed to be alone, he couldn't face anyone at that moment. He couldn't even face himself.

Everyone's on the move and Haley's not immune to the urge. Rising to her feet, she's out her front door in a second. Leaning her weight against the rusted, brass bar railing that frames the landing and staircase leading up to her apartment. Letting the hot muggy air hit her face, the thickness fill her lungs as she gulps it down. Her heart is racing inside her chest, breaking with the sight of Sam's fall. Fall from grace, from reality, from everything he's ever known about himself. Knowing she's the hand that brought down that gavel.

There's a breeze, but it offers no relief as the air is too warm and thick. Closing her eyes against the setting sun, Haley tries to calm the urge to get sick where she stands. The last few minutes play hauntingly over and over in her mind. The look on Sam's face as he sees the truth, devastating didn't begin to describe it, total annihilation only began to get close.

Behind closed lids she hears the sound of heavy boots on approach, the stride not wide enough to be Sam's. He stops suddenly behind her, somewhere in the doorway before his feet would make contact with the steal frame of her landing.

"Did you see his face…" Haley whispers out, guilt heavy on her breath, because it was her words, her truth that had slaughtered him.

Dean stands there for a moment taking in her words. He's moving, but the sound doesn't give away a description of his actions. "…Guess you guys are even now." His breath is solemn and weighed down like her own.

His words feel like whips at her back, stripping the flesh off her bones even though she knows he never meant them to hurt her. Opening her eyes, Haley turns to him suddenly. Her eyes desperately upon him.

"Tell me how to live with this." She pleads with Dean as if he has the answer, as if he holds that gift, because inside all Haley wants is for everything to go back to normal. She just wants her life back, her friends back, Sam back.

Dean steps to her with the blinding sight of her pain, with the need for someone so palpable in her pupil. He's slow in his approach with consideration of her new condition as his big hands wrap around her delicate face. He leans in close when she doesn't flinch to his touch. Saying silently she can find strength and safety in his hold.

"I wish I knew…" Dean's husky breath whispers against her forehead as he holds her near. "I wish I knew."

The dwindling day disappeared in the blink of an eye. Like a nightmare that had become all too real.

Sam kept his distance from Haley, from Dean too. When he finally emerged from the bathroom he insisted on taking a walk by himself. Dean tried his best to switch Sam's plans, but for once, Sam didn't back down.

For once, Sam wasn't going to let his big brother call the shots, disappearing out the front door before Dean could stop him. Sam needed to be alone with himself. He needed time to try and comprehend what he had done. He needed time and space to figure out what it meant.

Dean made the hardest call he's had to make in a long time, giving Bobby a ring to update him like he had promised the old man. Letting him know they had found his daughter, and would be bringing her home, but because of the promise he made Haley he left out why she had run. Dean didn't really want to tell that to Bobby anyway. He didn't want to repeat that story again for as long as he lives.

Haley moved about her apartment like a ghost in the shadows of her own residence until she was finally exhausted enough to sleep. Only after she saw Sam was back safe. Even if these once best friend's couldn't look each other in the eye anymore, deep inside they still cared, or this wouldn't hurt as bad as it did.

Dean and Sam stayed up to keep watch. Watch for what? Nothing really, it was just a cheap excuse so they didn't have to close their eyes, and see this horror show all over again in their dreams.

It wasn't until almost midnight before Sam finally opened up. His body slumped heavy on the couch, because he was pretty sure he'd never be able to sit in that lounge chair ever again, not after he had learned the truth in it. Dean was seated at the opposite end of the couch, the middle cushion keeping them separated.

_Careful, be careful, _

_Careful, be careful_

_This is where the world drops off_

The room was cloaked in mostly darkness. Only the faint light emanating off an old putrid green colored lamp contrasted the night. It was then as they sat silently in the darkness after what felt like forever that Sam finally opened up.

"What am I suppose to do? _…She's pregnant. I got her pregnant_. …What am I suppose to do?" His breath sounds broken and beaten down when he finally speaks. His words delivered husky and breathy more then steady tones, as if he can barely say the words at all. As if each and every one of them was killing him a little more to confront.

The thought of what he had done to her was damning enough, but to know he got her pregnant in the process. That the baby growing inside her was his. That on some level he was going to be a dad, Sam wasn't sure how to swallow that without choking.

A squeezing ache constricted in Dean's chest with his little brother's word. His pain is undeniable it's so painful to hear. Dean would never want Sammy in pain, let alone pain like this.

"She's thinking about giving the baby up for adoption." Dean's breath is quiet, trying to be delicate with a situation that felt insurmountable. Trying to keep his brother from falling over the edge. Spare his feelings what little way he can. Shield the one person it was his life's mission to protect.

A heavy rattled breath can be heard from the opposite end of the couch before he spoke.

"Makes sense I guess, why would she want to keep it after what I've done to her." The guilt falls thick off his lips as he stares blankly out into space. His heart crumbling with the words. Tears summoning in his wounded puppy dog eyes as he fights every breath to keep it together.

Shifting in his seat, Dean turned to face his brother seated across from him. His eyes glued on his image willfully strong. "It wasn't you, Sam… Yeah it was you, but it wasn't you. Do you understand me, You weren't in control. That demon did that to her, not you." Dean stumbled on the correct formation of words, but his point was clear. He knew it was Sam's instincts to blame himself for this, but he hadn't been the ringleader of the show. Dean needed his brother to know that, to let himself know that, and release the blame he put solely on himself.

Something sparkled to life inside Sam, a battle he's been fighting with himself since he learned the news. Abruptly turning to his brother, Sam met Dean's gaze with a look in his eyes more tortured then any before.

"It was my body. That's my baby. How can you say it wasn't me? How can you say that?" His words spit out harsh and angry, angry with himself more then anyone else. Those words meant to dig at his own wounds, scream at his own conscience.

Staring in a dead heat with his brother's eyes Sam can't help but think of what's lying underneath. Of the words he'd never say, never admit, not aloud. If his brother knew the truth, Sam felt certain he'd be singing a different tune. Sam could barely live with it himself. The sickening fear that thing had chosen to do what it did to Haley, because it figured out what she meant to him.

That while they were best friends, always had been, and he loved that, loved her. There was also a place deep inside Sam, a place that only came to life just before he left for college, a place that wondered what it would be like to be more with her.

The attraction came first, that was the easy part, Haley's beautiful. That crush was part of the reason he was so hurt when he found her that day straddled across his brother's lap in the backseat of the Impala, his brother's hand gripped at her bare hip as he guided her body on how to give him everything she had. He could still see it all so clearly sketched in his mind. At the time it had been hard for Sam to understand why Dean, and not him. Why didn't he catch her eye after all this time.

Slowly with time, after Jess died, after he left school to hit the road again, an intrigued thirst for her grew deep inside his gut. Driven from his logical, knowledge seeking mind. That wondered silently about more. That wondered if she could make him feel this way as his best friend how would he feel if she was his, but knowing she didn't want that, knowing secretly his big brother still carried a torch for her, he never let his secret slip past his lips.

Putting their feelings before his own, and never regretting it, but now he wonders. Seated on that couch, on the brink of spilling tears as he stares silently into his big brother's eyes, he wonders. He wonders if that thing figured it all out while inside him, and that's why he destroyed her instead of just killing her. The thought his hidden feelings had been the catalyst of what had been done, what she is now, it's a thought so hideous and horrific Sam can barely handle contemplating it without wanting to put a gun to head.

He's ripped from his self defeating thoughts as a piercing scream fills the apartment. It bounces off walls, echoing through this small place into the hollows of their hearts. The look that passes between the brothers eyes, neither need to say a word, they both know it's Haley. She's the only other person in the apartment with them, but they'd know her cry anywhere. The Winchester brothers don't waste a second before springing to their feet, and charging for her bedroom, guns drawn.

Kicking in her door as they can't be bothered with handles in the heat of the moment, Sam and Dean find themselves instantly at a disadvantage with the darkness of her bedroom. Their guns roaming the four walls ready to fire at any moment as they squinted to see.

It only takes seconds for their eyes to adjust to the lack of light and when they do the saddest sight greets their vision. There's no one in the room, no intruder or worse on the attack, just Haley thrashing under her covers, awakened still screaming.

Sam stands there frozen, paralyzed by the sight. His heart pounding hard and fast as it breaks inside his chest all over again. His insides twisting in on themselves as he knows what he did to her caused this. That it must have been his face she saw just moments ago that would cause her to scream like that chilled him to the bone.

Dean doesn't waste a second before dropping the gun and bolting to the side of her bed. His butt landing on the edge of her mattress as his hands reach out for her. Having never seen her like this before, having never been so scared for her before. Except the night he found her held hostage at his brother's hand.

"Don't touch me!" Haley just kept screaming at Dean through broken up sobs, as his hands tried to take hold. Causing her to fight harder, scream louder as she struggled away from his attempts.

"Haley… Hales… It's me… It's me…" Dean rambles hurried off his breath, trying to convince her of the reality of where she was, because even Dean knew who she was really fearing. His attempts were futile however, he didn't calm her down, because he didn't understand nothing was going to in that moment.

As their eyes finally met in the dark, as his strong hands finally found her arms, and felt burning to the touch, Haley gave the final word. "Don't touch me." She shot of firmly one last time, but this time he heard her loud and clear, because this time he could see she meant the monsters in her mind, but she meant him too.

Must have been something in her eyes, in the pitch of her cry, finally he understood the power of her fear, and released her. Pulling back, Dean gave her the space she needed most in that moment when the lines between what had happened to her, and where she was now were still blurred.

As his hands slip free Haley turned away. Curling into a ball against her blankets, she choked on the tears she couldn't hold in. She fought to block out the memories she didn't want to face. The sensation he was still there, and could do it all over again at any moment, almost as if in a way he was still doing it. As if somehow he had found a way inside her and never left.

Haley hadn't dreamt of her attack in a month. She had been relieved when the nightmares started to slow their pace, but lying curled up on her thin blanket as sobs and tears shook her body, Haley knows she should have known having them find her would bring it all back. But Haley hates being weak in their eyes. She hates them seeing her like this, seeing who she is now, when all she really wants is to just go back to who she use to be. The strong girl they knew her as.

_Careful, be careful_

_You breathe in and you breathe out_

_For it ain't so weird, How it makes you a weapon_

_And you give in, And you give out_

_For it ain't so weird , How it makes you a weapon_

Standing there Sam can feel himself coming undone. Watching her, seeing her like this, it's almost worse then the moment he learned the truth. The truth of what his body had done to her even if his mind barely remembered snapshots, because he's watching the actual damage with his own two eyes. The terror, the fight, the sobs, all of it his body put inside her. A body that now makes him sick to be connected to.

Knowing that, knowing he'll have to live with this and what he's done to her forever, Sam feels himself growing more physically ill by the second. It's like his stomach is filling with poisonous led he needs to release before it becomes his very death. In that moment Sam knows he can't watch this, watch her for another second without needing to rip himself to pieces from the inside out. Turning abruptly from her doorway, Sam stormed out without a single word.

Sam didn't need to speak for Dean to see this was tearing him apart limb by limb. Reluctantly leaving Haley's side, Dean follows his younger brother back into her living to make sure he was still in one piece and not broken apart by guilt and pain, lying in pieces on her floor.

Dean makes it out her bedroom door just in time to witness Sam slam his tightly closed fist through the plaster of her living room wall. Releasing some of his bent up emotions he can no longer hold inside. The very sight alarming for Dean as Sam has never been the one to lash out, not like this, but if there anything he's learned from all this it's none of them are going to be what they once were anymore.

"Well there goes her deposit." Dean sarcastically remarks, with a lightheartedness they both know is false.

Sam doesn't acknowledge his brother's sarcasm, he's trapped too deeply inside himself as everything wages war inside, just under his skin where the outside world can't see. He paces the shag carpet aimlessly before concluding he's needs to get away from them, he needs some air, he needs it now.

Without a word of explanation Sam urgently marched for the front door, Dean calling after him with his exit. "Where yeah going, Sam?" His deep overpowering voice bellows with hidden concern.

"Just back off." Sam's lips mumbled out as he exits, but it's the harshness of his tone that makes it clear this is a demand and not a request.

Dean stands there numb and heavy with the weight of all the people he loves falling apart before his helpless eyes. Unsure how to fix them, wishing he could just take their place, take their pain for them.

Silence fills the apartment as Dean stands there all alone. Only then in that quiet moment does he hear her cries once again from the dark confines of her bedroom. He knows she's the only one he can help right now, if she lets him in, but seeing her now is like a stab in the heart. Seeing her now, after knowing what she was before. He has to search past the shell of what she had become to find the girl he loved, will always love.

His steps are steady, but solemn as he returns to her. He can hear on approach her sobs have died down, only the sound of sniffles and tears remain.

She's curled in a ball when he takes a seat on the edge of her bed. Dean wants to reach out to her, comfort her, but after her reaction last time he's unsure if he should.

When Haley doesn't protest as his weight settles in on the mattress beside her, Dean decides the try and reach her. The sound of her tears, the pain they come from, he feels like he has to do something to fix it. Slow in his approach Dean reaches out and places a light hand upon her outer thigh, the piece of her closest to him. She noticeably flinches with his touch, but then seems to surrender to it, and relaxes.

Dean lets out a sigh of relief when he feels her hand snake out and find his own. Her fingers tangling with his before she takes hold and pulls his hand near to her chest.

Haley stays there, silently clutching his hand as if it's her life vest keeping her from drowning under the currents.

Minutes pass, minutes filled with silence, and a lack of movement before Haley finally stirs. Silently rising to a seat on her mattress where she meets Dean's eyes in the dark. Her tears subsided, but the residue still stains her face. The evidence still so clear to see in the flush tint of her skin, with the haunting look blinding in her eyes.

The look in her orbs threatens to steal Dean's breath, threatens to swallow him whole with the power within it. Her pupil is unrelenting, he can see she needs him, needs him beyond endless tears, and desperate words.

He squeezes her hand tangled so tightly with his own. Their eyes locked in the shadows of night, Dean slowly moves. Repositioning himself on her bed until his back settles across her mattress, his head swallowed in the pillow.

His gaze never releases her own, her own that needs him so badly in that moment.

"Come here," Dean calls to her like a husky whisper in the dark. Giving her a refuge in the blackness she now see's everywhere all around her.

A faint smile twitches at the corner her lips, so small he can't even be certain he saw it, but slowly she draws his hand still laced with her own up to her face. Their eyes held and locked as she brings the back of his hand to her lips where she places a brief butterfly's kiss upon his skin. Saying thank you without ever saying a word. Dean feels his heart race under her touch. Even broken she gets to him like no one else ever has.

Releasing her hold upon him, Haley surrenders beside Dean. Snuggling in close to his much larger frame, the tension in her muscles saying silently the closeness was still a test of her limits, but she needs this, needs his comfort and support. Resting her head against Dean's flannel covered chest, Haley lets out a heavy breath as his arms wined around her, because for all Dean's strength he knows how to make his scarred body gentle when she needs it.

She finds safety there. The way he's always made her feel safe. Knowing he'd die before he'd let anything happen to her. Only there can she find the strength to close her eyes, and fall back to sleep without fear something will get her in the dark.

_Never turn your back on it_

_Never turn your back on it again_

_Careful, be careful_

_Here by my side, it's Heaven_

"_Weapon" Matthew Good Band_

**A/N Note:** I really tried to captured how it must feel from Sam's side to learn what a part of him as down, and how devastating that would be. Hopefully I was able to do such a situation justice. Let me know.


End file.
